I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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