After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
