It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
