You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just had sex on a roof
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
