Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
