I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
