I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
