3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
