Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
