so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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