haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
