Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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