Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
