Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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