You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
