if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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