You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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