Jerry, you need to find god
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
