apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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