He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
