pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
