im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
