He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
