What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
