Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When are your genitals available?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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