"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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