I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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