life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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