PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
