I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
