This dress was meant to end up on your floor
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
