My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
