Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
