walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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