I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
