yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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