did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
