I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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