I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize