I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Still dying that you shit outside
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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