I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i barfeds in our rink
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
