these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
