Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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