he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
