As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
