oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
