drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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