I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize