Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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