After last night, I could never be a politician.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
