Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
