I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
