just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
honey bunches of taint.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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