Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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