this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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