It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize