he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize