a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
